SANDY CONTINUES: While Jason and I
sat around the table eating our brunch, we talked about my dream and our
confusing feelings about Mytrian.
“I am so happy that I had this dream
and the intimate experience of being with the Arcturian,” I said as I sipped my
coffee.
“I have to admit that I have really
missed Mytre and Mytria. Have you had any more of your dreams about Mytrian?”
“Yes,” responded Jason. “In fact,
just a few days ago I had a dream in which Mytrian was with the Arcturian.
However, I am still having difficulty
understanding how one person or being, as I am not sure Mytrian is a human, can
have all those different component of SELF.
“I mean, supposedly you and I are
part of Mytrian’s Multidimensional SELF, which includes Mytria, Mytre and the
Arcturian.
How can that be?
How can one being hold that many
different frequencies of consciousness in one form?”
“I have wondered that myself,” I
replied. “Also, I felt such confidence and security from Mytre and Mytria, but
Mytrian seems almost as confused as I am.
However, since my merging with the
Arcturian this morning I am beginning to understand the concept of a composite,
multidimensional self.
However, I can’t translate that
understanding into words.
In fact, more and more now there are
concepts, experiences, emotions and thoughts that I put into words.”
“My dreams about Mytrian, or maybe
they are experiences with Mytrian, seem to be focused on
Mytrian’s attempt to fully merge with Its multidimensional expressions of SELF.
In fact, I dreamt a few days ago
that Mytrian had bonded with Mytre and Mytria while on the Mothership.
Then just night before last, I
dreamt that Mytrian merged with Its Arcturian SELF.”
“Why didn’t you tell me that?” I
asked with hurt feelings.
Usually Jason and I talked about
everything.
However, lately we seemed to have
been moving apart.
“Yes,” said Jason as he reached for
my hand. He was reading my mind again. “I too have felt as though we have not
been as close.
Do you think that we became to
dependent on Mytre and Mytria for our happiness?”
“They did express that concern,” I
replied. “I think that they were right.
Now that they are not as actively in
our lives, you and I have fallen into the drudgery of daily life.
I am so sorry that I have not been
connected enough to you to realize that you were having such informative
dreams.
Then, I have one dream and you
listen to every word. Why did you not share your dreams with me?”
Jason took a look time before he
answered my question.
I could tell he was trying to find
the kindest way possible to answer me.
I bit my lip to stop myself from
talking, but also from fear of what he would say.
Finally, I could wait no longer.
How could such a wonderful morning
deteriorate so quickly with just one short conversation?
Instantly, I felt the Arcturian
energy within me again saying, “The greater light unveils all secrets.”
I should have been comforted, but
instead I became more afraid.
What if Jason does not love me
anymore, and he is trying to find a way to break up?
Maybe I will have to be alone now.
“NO, NO,” I cried inside my heart.
My greatest fears were definitely
being revealed to me.
I was about to cry when Jason took
my hand and said, “Don’t be so upset. I love you and do not want to leave you.
It is just that I sometimes feel
like I have left my SELF.”
I decided to take the higher road
and forget about my fears and give comfort to the man who had just been so
wonderfully supportive to me.
I held on to his hand and looked
into his face. “I am glad you feel you can talk with me now.
I am ready to listen and will be
quiet while you speak.”
When I saw the look of relief on
Jason’s face, I realized how much I had dominated our conversations.
How could I have not noticed how he
felt? How could I have been so selfish?
I wanted to tell him that, but
decided to keep my words inside for now and remain quiet, no small task for me.
Fortunately, Jason finally spoke.
“Thank you for giving me some time
to gather my thoughts.
It seems that lately my mind is
traveling so much faster than my body that I can hardly keep track of my self,
much less you.
I have been needing to spend some
time to just be with my self instead of sharing everything with you.
I think that is why I did not share
my dreams.
Also, I knew that you were having
trouble with accepting Mytrian as a component of your SELF, as was I.
“However, I have felt a deep empathy
for Mytrian’s plight.
Perhaps, because I was struggling to
maintain a deep relationship with my SELF and you at the same time, I could
better understand the confusion of Mytrian.
Even though they are a collective,
multidimensional being with full awareness of the many dimensions of their
SELF, they were not given any instruction as to how to handle such a confusing
energy field.
“Since I can barely navigate a deep
love relationship with you and my own SELF, I was comforted to follow the
evolution of Mytrian.
I guess that is why I have been
dreaming about them so often.
But now, my truth has hurt you, I
can see it on your face.”
“What is on my face is MY issue,” I
replied, not without a degree of anger.
“I too have had problems living in
the physical while also communicating with galactic beings.
Then, those being left, and I felt
totally abandoned.
I had a few dreams about Mytrian,
but I placed my anger of abandonment from Mytria and Mytre on Mytrian.
I now realize that I have placed it
on you, as well.
That is why you have not felt safe
sharing more deeply with me.”
Jason was quiet for far too long,
but I managed to contain myself.
In fact, I actually called upon the
Arcturian to remind me of the wonderful experience I had just had.
Yes, what goes up comes down. Also,
I did not want to crash into my humanly hurt feelings.
I had made it difficult for Jason to
be himself with me. “Your insecurities demanded his attention when you should
have given him loving freedom,” I heard my High Heart say.
Yes, of course my High Heart was
correct. I had been loving Jason from my hurt feelings, rather than from my
High Heart, which actually hurt his feelings.
I decided to send Jason the same
unconditional love that my High Heart had sent me while inside the “tree of
life,” as I now called my experience.
Keeping my eyes open and my hand
clutching his, I released my fear into the green, pink light of my High Heart
and replaced it with unconditional love.
I did not know much about
unconditional love, but since I had just felt if from the Arcturian I could
remember the FEEL of it.
Calling again and again for
Arcturian assistance, I sent waves of unconditional love to Jason.
As I sent this love, and as he
obviously accepted it, we silently slipped out of time.
It seemed as though we sat at the
table for a lifetime just holding hands and looking into each other’s eyes.
When I became fatigued with sending
unconditional love, I realized that I could not send it without feeling it
within myself first.
It was then that I began to feel
that my gift of unconditional love was returned back to me.
I wondered if that were the same for
all emotions and instantly my High Heart said, “YES.”
As I sent my timeless gift to Jason,
and my self, I could feel my consciousness back on the New Earth I had just
visited.
I could see the distant mountain,
the lovely valley and the Temple.
While I was connected with Jason via
my hand and heart, I took him with me as we walked up the golden stairs and
through the opened golden door.
This time the Temple appeared dark,
as though it was waiting for us to create our experience together.
It was then that Jason broke contact
and began to sob.
I pulled my chair right around next
to his and put my arm around him.
Since we were still beyond time, I
have no idea how long he cried and how long I silently comforted him.
Finally, he looked up into my eyes
again and said, “That was the most wonderful gift that I have ever received.
I realize now that I was so afraid
of losing you that I focused on losing my self.
Oh, the webs of deception we weave.”
“Yes,” I said, “but we do get back
to the truth.”
“The truth is,” Jason calmly said,
“I could never leave you, as we are ONE.”
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