THE REFLECTOR

"Clear Vision" 

A Reflector's entire life chart is colored white, with all nine centers undefined.

You are as white and as clear as the moon and constitute an estimated 1 percent of the world's population, making you the rarest of all types.

The first thing to appreciate is that you live your life in a novel way,

yet everyone expects you to view the world and act the same way they do.

Actually, I should make T-shirts for Reflectors that say: "I'm nothing like you, so let me be!"

At first glance, it looks as though nothing is going on in your life chart.

There is an apparent emptiness about you, but you are anything but empty by nature.

This lack of activity means you are a receiving dish drawing in everyone else's energy and constantly reflecting back to oth­ers who they are, what they're about, and what life is about.

You absorb and brim over with the qualities and energies you receive from other Human Design types.

Someone's defined Heart fills your Heart.

Some­one's defined Emotions flood your Emotions, and so on and so forth.

Nobody is affected by the designs that surround you more than you are.

Consequently, this makes you empathetic because, under these con­ditioning influences, you experience all the passions, fears, thoughts, emotions, and ambitions that are transferred onto you.

This makes you, by nature, extremely sensitive, vulnerable, perceptive, and potentially wise, because an innate objectivity allows you to witness the energies passing through you and what they all mean to everyone.

Reflectors reflect, like mirrors.

People see themselves in you.

This is a gift, but this can also be frustrating because when is someone going to see you?

You're no doubt tired of listening to everyone else's achieve­ments and problems, smiling politely and then giving your viewpoint.

What about you?

The eternal struggle for you is when to engage and when to detach, when to become distracted by others and when to focus on yourself.

Reflectors often find themselves being leaned on, absorbing everyone and everything into their lives and not knowing where the boundaries lie.

You will find that many people off-load onto you and sound you out.

Indeed, this can be burdensome and you may struggle to know your own identity because it's tangled up in the energies you're getting from other people.

You Reflectors cannot escape being impacted by other designs, and it's understandable that you can become overwhelmed, and some­times deeply disturbed, by the thoughts, chaos, and nonsense of others.

No wonder you seek your own solitude, needing to escape for your own sanity -and inner reflection!

My advice to you is to understand how impressionable your design is by nature and then learn to disown the energies thrown at you.

This is how to transform a conditioning influence into wisdom.

Stand back, observe, appreciate what's happening, and reflect back your take on everything.

If you do this, others will often seek out your insightful per­spective.

"You always understand me,"

"You're always good at working it out for me," and "You always seem to grasp what's going on" are some phrases you might be able to identify with.

This is all well and good, pro­vided you filter who gets access to you and who does not.

You need to know when to draw the line and to be disciplined with your time to pre­vent being swamped.

Imagine living in a world where 99 percent of people seem to be power brokers and you're the 1 percent exception to the rule.

You're bound to feel different in some way.

You're bound to feel like a cork on the ocean, bobbing and bouncing around in the currents and waves of others' lives.

Until you learn how to bring stability into your life.

Until you learn to reflect and not absorb.

So view yourself as the go between for different people's energies, as if you're passing the ball from one to another, not holding on to it.

And with each pass, you can add your detached per­spective as a gift of wisdom.

Betsy had always sensed something was different about her­ self but hadn't been able to quite put her finger on it.

She had been through all manner of situations where people had dumped their problems, aggression, meanness, and bad behavior on her and had often found that she was completely powerless to do anything about it.

At work, everyone cried on her shoulder, and at home, friends unburdened them­selves over the telephone.

The collective agreement was:"If you have a problem, Betsy will fix it."

Even her managers found her to be a natural troubleshooter when it came to resolving entanglements within company policy.

As brilliantly as she was able to make sense of it all, she never really felt that she was getting what she needed in life.

She was deeply contem­plative and her moods were up and down.

She didn't seem able to nail down who and where she was in life.

She would just sit and absorb the problems like a sponge.

After a while, she actually began to believe that this unhealthy attraction was, in some way, her fault.

But when, in her mid thirties, she discovered her Reflector nature, things changed.

She learned to unhook herself from the auras that had become dependent on her.

Somewhat drastically, she moved to a quieter neighbor­hood where she could start again and lay down her boundaries.

She cleared space in her calendar for exclusive "me-time" each day.

At work, she gave people fifteen or so minutes for their problems, then called time.

She wasn't, she pointed out, a full-time Dear Abby. She started to respect her own needs and found assertiveness within her new found knowledge.

Human Design had enabled her to see where she had been going wrong and what she needed to do if she was to honor her true nature.

These days, Betsy is enjoying a newly enriched life in which she receives the love, acknowledgment, and appreciation she cherishes.

She has learned the ultimate Reflector lesson: to receive as much as she gives and to guard her time and space as if they are the most precious things in the world.

In Human Design experiential workshops created by my wife Carola, I invite someone to stand quietly before a Reflector and be open to the experience.

What often happens is that the non-Reflector is moved to tears, arising from a deep sense of being "seen" and having their true nature profoundly reflected back to them.

When you witness this happening, it is the power of the system speaking for itself.

The non­ Reflector comes to appreciate how benign, passive, and unconditionally loving the Reflector is.

I tell these people to embrace Reflectors because, as our mirrors in life, they're a source of great knowing and wisdom.

As a Reflector, you don't need to get someone to stand before you to know your impact.

You draw others toward you in a quiet and non inter­fering way.

You are a soothing, calming influence, and those people who engage with you quickly appreciate your innate wisdom.

The quiet, wise owl sitting serenely in the comer of a room is likely to be a Reflector, as is the person who wanders off from the crowded picnic to find solace on the riverbank.

If you do this, don't be surprised if you find a cluster of Manifestors, Generators, MGtypes, and Projectors scurrying after you to off load and then listen to your advice.

Just show them your hand and say "no" you need your time alone.

In times past, Reflectors would often find themselves in hermitages, in the remote countryside, or in spiritual communities, indulging their need for privacy, nature, and solitude.

Being at one with nature is what a Reflector's nature is all about!

The frenetic pace of life and crowded places tends to freak you out.

I also suspect that small social gatherings are your thing, as opposed to manic parties.

Such upbeat environments can lead you to go haywire because your type is not designed to soak up and sustain the energy coming at you from all directions.

Over stimula­tion to your sensitive being can leave you depleted and disheartened.

The beauty is that once you're removed from the chaos, you find it easier than most to switch off and find a deep place of inner reflection.

I always tell Reflectors that having their own space is fundamental to their nature.

If it's practical, live in a house with your own wing or lots of garden space, or in a home on its own land.

The receiving dish Reflec­tor finds it uncomfortable, to say the least, living in a center city apart­ment block or a crammed housing development where they're impacted by the volatility of modern day life.

When overloaded, stand under a shower to wash away any borrowed burdens; sit in meditation to regain your center.

The one question Reflectors always ask is "If I have no consistent design, how do I find my way through life, and how do I make consistently right decisions without being influenced by everyone else's input?"

Well, the recognition of your sensitive, malleable nature is the first step, because this allows you to access the company and environments that resonate with your nature.

The second is to understand that the moon is your mainstay, ally, and timekeeper.

Justas the moon has a reg­ular twenty nine day cycle each month, so do you.

Other Human Design types experience consistency via active channels and defined centers, but your nature is ever changing because it is largely dependent on where the moon is in the sky.

If you watch closely, you will notice that your moods are in exact correlation with wherever the moon is.

It will pull you in different directions at different times. This is explored in greater detail for you in the next chapter.

Reflector children are going to impress with their extraordinary grasp of life, seeming wise beyond their years.

Yet they are very gentle, sensi­tive beings who can find themselves overwhelmed by peer pressure to fit in, to be someone other than who they are.

The last thing a Reflec­tor child needs is a parent who doesn't understand this social reluctance and says things like, "Go on, what's wrong with you?

Join in and play!" In the playground they can quickly feel like the odd one out, swamped by the energies of other types.

There is something about retreating and being alone that appeals to them.

It's important for parents to acknowledge this difference and explain that it's not an oddity but a uniqueness.

These children will ride the energy of others like a Projector child but can become exhausted far more quickly.

Some Reflector children can appear withdrawn or shut down, unable to cope with life's pace and bombardments.

They will tend to remove themselves from trouble and chaos and will feel at home in more serene environments.

So allow them alone time in their bedrooms, just chilling out or listening to music.

These kids have a tendency to float through childhood, not tear through it, and adolescence can be quite a trial for them.

Nature is a good ally for them, so I would encourage living close to nature and going to parks instead of football games.

If you're a Reflector parent, you'll always be stretched to the limit trying to keep up with the boundless energy of your child.

So learn to limit your doses of activity, and encourage your child to be more resourceful.

Also recognize that the child will grow to appreciate your wisdom even if that's not always apparent!

He or she couldn't have a better teacher in life.

In relationships, Reflectors are very dependent on the clarity and loving-kindness of their partner.

There is a complex dichotomy to them in that they need you but then need space away from you.

There is a con­stant shuttling between independence and dependence.

And some­where in the middle of those two natural states lies the balance of their perfect relationship.

There is no one more sensitive, vulnerable, yet potentially wise than a Reflector partner.

Reflectors are searching

for those people who appre­ciate their unique nature.

One of the best setups I've seen is where the husband is the capable, breadwinning Manifestor who zips out the door each morning, leaving his Reflector wife with the house and garden to herself.

Even when he's at home, she literally has her own exclusive part of the house to which she can retreat whenever she feels overwhelmed by life.

Her Manifestor husband has recognized her true nature, honored it, and struck a balance that works for them both.

There is an enormous difference between the perspective that a Reflector has on life and that of everyone else.

Everybody knows the experience of walking around a garden during the day when sunlight lights the surroundings.

But Reflectors know what it's like to walk around that garden by night, when everything appears completely different, under moonlight.

The moon lights them up and provides their true and unique perspective.

Meditation, prayer, and deep solitude will feel good for all Reflectors.

If you are one, these will help bring you into your true self.

This is a special process unique to you.

But then you are a unique being, one of the bright­est, most loving, and wisest people on this Earth.

With your openness and availability to life, you bring some of the greatest wisdom to the world.

If you have a Reflector in your life, know that you have literally found someone special, so honor them and recognize the very particular way they need to live their life.

By way of review and recap, here are the key phrases that describe how each type engages with the world:

*Manifestor: "I am; therefore I do."

*Generator: "I respond, then I do."

*Manifesting Generator: "I respond and wait for my moment of truth, then I do."

*Projector: "I am recognized, invited, and available, then I do."

*Reflector: "I am called, I reflect, then I do."

Knowing your type and how you're designed to operate is vital in align­ing yourself with your nature.

It also provides a more accurate snapshot identity.

The revelations contained within type alone can be potentially life changing, as this real life account bears testimony.

Angel from L.A. is a former model with a young daughter.

She told me: The thing that Human Design helped me the most with was being a parent.

My daughter is a Projector and I am a Manifestor, and the two could not be more opposite.

It had been difficult for me because I expected her to do things as quickly as me.

Understanding type has given me a lot of ability to have faith in her timing and the way she does things.

Personally, I don't let any parent cross my path without recommending this system because it allows you to actually understand your children on a different level.

People undeniably experience relief when the insights gained through knowing their type hit home.

Remember, there's no great advantage in being one type or another; the most important thing is to look for all the openings life offers and then honor your type in the process.

Once you've grasped this aspect of your design, you're ready to dove­tail it with the next stage in understanding: how to make wiser and bet­ter decisions.

~ Chetan Parkyn - Human Design: Discover the Person You Were Born to Be.