Wednesday, November 26, 2014

I am listening



I am home now in this quiet place.

I am more in this body than I was before.

I am comfortable in this space.

I am listening.

Doing my best to stay out of my?, head.

La la, bah ha, nah nah, do do, don’t do,

yak yak, this means that,

and that means this.

Go away this judging noise.

I want to sit here in this quiet place.

No hurry to get it done, to have it done, to confirm, to conform.

I just want to experience and listen...

... to the sweet whisperings that don’t really have a language…

… just a gentle awareness, a scent, a sound, a taste, a feeling of the skin that I am enveloped in…

… that sometimes tingles and feels cool and warm…
… has breath and a beating heart that I am not in control of.

Eyes that witness light, color, shapes and forms.

I want to say to you dear friend, “ Listen to your own inner voice, not to mine.

I speak the voice of the heart not the mind.

What have you brought to me, and I to you?

There was reason for the door to open, why label it.

The door opened, you were welcomed in.

You have returned again and again.

I speak words.

They come from places.

Places of fractures of the human heart and the wisdom of the soul.

It really matters not.

Memories gathered through space & time travels.

Most of them I know do not belong to this incarnation.

We all speak words from various places and we also listen to them from various places.

Listen to see if they come from your own gentle heart.

Wounds and wisdom… 

... it is up to each of us to discern what is real for each of us in this life.

I do not know anymore, what has been before this moment is only that.

What is now is this moment and I can only do the best I can do…
… in this now…
… desiring not to attach meaning to it…
… just observation of feelings…
… while I am in it.

When I am or have been with you…
… I am in the moment.

If I allow the thinking machine to take place... 

... I want to run, who is this I?

If I don’t think too much I want to be.

I am unfolding, you are unfolding.

It is a journey and so what if it is or isn’t.

Can it be enough to just simply unfold one delicate petal at a time?

No expectations, no disappointments.

Otherwise ancestors and generations with their wounded roots...
... start to emerge from their painful graves...
... craving the light but still afraid.

I am not here to hurt you or me.

I am here to observe all that comes with this unfolding...

... as it happens in each moment.

There is nowhere to get to, only to be.

What it is or isn’t will reveal itself in time.

Is that okay?

If it isn’t... is that okay?

Who I am and who you are is much grander than meets the eye...

... or the ear or the future or the past.

Let us listen with the open and vulnerable heart…

… to the offering of its tender, sweet and often silent message…

… not afraid of what was or will be.

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