I am within a very tall room that
appears to be infinite in height.
The room is somewhat square and
composed entirely of windows that are covered by white gauze curtain.
The curtains flow unperceptively in
a loose, motionless, motion to give me the sensation of a soft breeze.
However, I do not feel the breeze,
as I am entirely inside of my SELF.
I do not know exactly what “inside
my SELF” means, but it is what I FEEL.
In fact, every component of this
experience is based on my FEELING.
My thoughts, which are trained to
progress forward in a line traveling into an unknown future, are now
subservient to the NOW of my perceptions and emotions.
Wonderfully, I have no temptation to
think about what is occurring, as I dare not disturb the Beingness of the NOW
with a thought.
There is no time here, and HERE is
clearing inside of ME.
However, determining what version of me would require
thought, so I continue to flow within the blissful feel of this glorious room
of light.
If I posses a form I am unaware of
it, and in fact, I don’t care.
Within this NOW this blissful room
is my form, yet it is a formless form.
It is a form in that I perceive
within my inner vision, but I do not experience any other physical sensations.
Thus, I do not hear anything or have
any tactile sensations.
As far as I can tell, I am within
some, if not all, versions of my SELF.
However, that analysis is
unimportant because I am totally focused on the feeling of calm bliss.
As I release these final analytical
thoughts, I discover that my entire formless essence is undulating with light
and unconditional love.
I experience only my breath, as it
deepens my experience with my every exhale.
I slowly inhale again, hold the
glory of this NOW and feel its expansion as I exhale.
It appears that these inhales and
exhales are moving me upwards within the room where the light glows brighter
and brighter.
I still remain without form, but
have the clear awareness that I am inside of me, inside of me, inside of me…
Fortunately, I feel no need to
question, understand or analyze.
The sensation of calm bliss is my
primary focus, and it appears to be taking me somewhere, if the term where applies to this reality.
In fact, there is no “where,” as
there is only “here.”
When my attention rests on my
feelings of calm bliss there is nothing else to perceive.
This calm bliss seems to guide my
focus to the windows, as I appear to be rising toward the top of the roofless
room.
With no sense of transition, I am
suddenly on what I might call a porch.
Again, when I focus on my sensation
there are no forms or visions that accompany them.
My sensations/feelings are simply
HERE NOW.
NOW, some component of this HERENESS
directs the stream of my attention onto the porch.
I feel that there is a door behind my formless form and stairs before
me that move down from the porch.
I can only perceive that on which I
place my attention.
My attention suddenly returns to the
room, my formless perception is there.
NOW, my attention returns to the
porch I am here, still formless.
I do have a constant awareness that
this entire experience is inside of me.
Even while I am IN the room I am not
inside of the room, but inside of me.
On the other hand, the room and I
are so completely merged into oneness that there is no concept of inside or outside of it.
The same is true for the porch. I am
inside of me, while the porch and I are ONE in the Now of the porch.
As my attention lands on the trees
around the porch, and the porch no longer exists.
The trees are me, and I am the trees
while our merged essence is inside of ME—whomever Me is?
When my attention shifts to the
porch and all that exists inside is the “outside” porch that leads into the
“inside” of me.
But now even the porch and the trees
are beginning to blur as the language of the symbolism becomes clear.
The room is me within a form that is
not apparent in this experience/reality.
The porch is a threshold within me
to a version of me that is unknown, yet simultaneously familiar.
There are no polarities, so
“unknown” and “familiar” mean not
attended to and in the process of
merging with.
I feel the trees calling me, as
trees are my favorite “people,” but all sense of form is becoming obsolete.
It is the essence of the trees that
is calling me, as well as the essence of nature.
As I respond to this call, I expand
into an awareness of ALL That Is.
Then again, ALL is formless and
exists as pure potential.
With this realization, I become
aware of a physical form that surrounds me, which is my first recognition of an
“I” that is outside of this experience.
This experience of an “I” only
exists while my attention is on that form.
My attention is drawn to the feeling
of lying in bed, and my form pulls me into it.
I lie on my bed, flowing with this
experience and savoring each taste of it as I slowly return to the physical
world.
I must write this down, I say as I
somehow pull my physical form with me as I walk to get my computer.
I am back in the outside world, but
I can feel ME inside.
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